“Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.”
— Hebrews 13:7
“If you want to change the future, start with those who will live there.”
— Reggie Joiner
WISDOM FACE TO FACE
One of the deepest desires I’ve carried over the years is to sit across the table from older men who have walked the narrow road a little longer than I.
Men who’ve bled. Men who’ve buried friends. Men who’ve failed and returned. Men who have won hard fought wisdom and seek to pass it on. Men who have watched decades go by and still carry a fire for God.
I long for the kind of relationship with elders where I don’t have to explain why I feel the weight of responsibility, or why faithfulness can feel so costly, or why it matters to raise my kids with intentionality. I long for those who get it, not because they read a book about it last month, but because they lived it twenty years ago and still bear the scars and share the story.
Every time I’ve voiced that longing, something surprising happens. The older men nod. There’s an ache in their eyes too. They want this. They’re not sitting on wisdom with arrogance, they’re wondering if anyone wants to hear the tales of the battles they’ve fought and the scars they’ve earned.
But here’s the problem, like a middle school relationship, we’re often both waiting on each other to make the first move. The enemy has placed a wedge of insecurity between generations, and it’s quietly hollowing out the church.
A BIBLICAL VISION OF GENERATIONAL DISCIPLESHIP
The church was never meant to be a place of generational segregation.
From Genesis to Revelation, God's vision for His people has always included the passing of wisdom from one generation to the next. Discipleship was never just about a class or a curriculum, it was a life shared.
Paul told Titus that older men were to model maturity and steadfastness, and that younger men were to walk in self-control. But those weren’t isolated commands. They were relational. There was an assumption that the older were with the younger, and the younger were listening to the older.
In Hebrews 13:7 we’re told to “remember our leaders… and imitate their faith.” But how can we imitate someone we’re not around? How can we reflect what we’ve never seen?
We can’t.
So instead of mentorship, we turn to YouTube. Instead of father figures, we follow influencers. Instead of real stories, we download curated soundbites. We’re being discipled by curated content, not cultivated character.
THE SHARED INSECURITY THAT KEEPS US APART
The tragedy is not that the generations are uninterested in one another. The tragedy is that they both assume the other is.
Underneath the surface, both the older and younger generations are haunted by different, but deeply related, insecurities. Each one misinterprets silence as rejection.
The older generation fears irrelevance.
They carry wisdom forged through decades of fire, but wonder if anyone wants to hear it.
Culture tells them they’re outdated. The pace of modern life, full of noise, trends, and screens, makes them feel like museum pieces, admired from a distance but not invited into the action.
Some fought hard battles and feel like they barely made it through. Others stayed faithful but quietly wonder if their long obedience actually made a difference. They don’t need flattery. They need to know they have immense value to impart to the next generation.
The younger generation fears rejection.
They’ve grown up in a world that glorifies independence.
They crave father figures, spiritual mentors, and wisdom from those who’ve lived more life, but they’re not sure how to ask.
Many were raised without real examples of generational connection. Their mentors have been podcasters and their elders were found in a book store. They’re not even sure what mentorship looks like.
And beneath the desire is a fear, what if I ask and they say no? What if I show my need and they see me as weak?
So they keep quiet. Smile. Nod. Pretend. And go searching for guidance in the shallows of digital life.
The enemy loves this dynamic.
Because so long as both generations believe the lie that the other isn’t interested, the chain of discipleship remains broken.
So we circle each other in the church foyer, smile politely, and stay in our age-based echo chambers.
But this isn’t how the kingdom of God is supposed to play out.
WHAT THE OLDER GENERATION MUST DO: INVITE
To the older generation, those with gray hair, weathered hands, and the quiet weight of experience, you don’t need to be relevant. You need to be faithful. You need to share your story.
You have wisdom we’re desperate for.
We want to know how you stayed married. How you kept praying when God seemed silent. How you came back after failure.
Don’t keep that to yourself.
Invite someone younger to coffee.
Tell them your story.
You don’t need to have a teaching plan. Just show up. Be available. Your scars are sacred. Your regrets are useful. Your presence is powerful.
WHAT THE YOUNGER GENERATION MUST DO: PURSUE
To the younger generation, those in their twenties and thirties, raising young kids and carrying new responsibility, you need to ask. You need to honor. You need to pursue.
You’re not a burden.
Don’t wait until you’re drowning to seek counsel. Don’t pretend you’ve got it all together.
Ask questions. Listen. Take notes. Show up.
Walk in humility.
And when an elder opens up their life to you, treat it like the treasure it is.
THE ECONOMY OF THE KINGDOM
A friend of mine, Grant Skeldon, recently was sharing at a church conference on the importance of multi-generational discipleship. He brought up the well known book on marriage titled Love and Respect. Marriage, we’re told, is built on love and respect.
He offered up a new paradigm for discipleship amount generations. Generational discipleship… it’s built on belief and honor.
The older generation instills belief in the younger: “You have what it takes.”
The younger generation bestows honor to the older: “Your life has value and weight.”
This is the economy of a Kingdom life.
The Kingdom isn’t built by a generation.
It’s built by a lineage.
A family.
A relay race where the baton doesn’t drop.
A FINAL CHARGE
Don’t let wisdom die with you.
And don’t let insecurity keep you from receiving it.
If you’re older, faithful, available, maybe a little unsure, look around. Someone needs what you carry. You don’t have to be impressive. Just be present.
If you’re younger, eager, unsure, maybe afraid, look around. Someone is waiting to pour into you. But they need your pursuit. Your honor. Your intentionality.
God didn’t design discipleship to be downloaded. He designed it to be lived.
So initiate. Invite. Pursue. Honor. Listen. Tell the story.
Let the baton pass. Let the legacy live. Let the wisdom echo.
Because if we lose this, we lose something sacred.
Let’s build bridges before the wisdom fades.
No more broken chains.
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