“It is not good for man to be alone.”
— Genesis 2:18
“The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health. Close relationships, more than money or fame, are what keep people happy throughout their lives.”
— Dr. Robert Waldinger
SIXTEEN MOVES AND ONE LESSON
In the first four years of our marriage, my wife and I moved sixteen times.
Sixteen times where we packed and unpacked our hopes, our belongings, our prayers, and our longings for friendship.
We moved for medical school, training, and clinical rotations. The places were as varied as the seasons, small towns and cities, mountains and flats, humid and dry, cold and warm, charming and forgettable.
But one thing remained consistent through all of it.
The people made the place.
Not the weather.
Not the housing.
Not the coffee shops or parks or the views.
The people.
That realization birthed a phrase we’ve carried ever since:
“The people are the prize.”
It’s how we’ve chosen where to root.
How we’ve thought about church.
How we evaluate legacy.
It’s a guiding principle for the kind of life we want to build.
Because no matter what you accomplish, accumulate, or check off your dream list, if you arrive there alone, it will feel hollow. If the people you love aren’t around the table, it’s just food, not a feast. If the work you do doesn’t lift someone else higher, it’s not eternal.
The people are the prize.
THE STUDY OF HAPPINESS
In 1938, Harvard launched what would become the longest-running study on adult development and human flourishing. (TED Talk from director linked below)
It has tracked over 700 men and their families for decades, exploring one big question:
What truly makes a good life?
The results are staggering, and unsurprisingly, deeply biblical.
From over 80 years of research they concluded:
Relationships are the single greatest predictor of lifelong health and happiness.
Not income.
Not intelligence.
Not job title.
Not genetics.
Not location.
Relationships.
And not just casual ones. The study discovered that deep, supportive relationships marked by trust, vulnerability, and consistency were what allowed people to thrive across their lifespan. They improved physical health. Lowered stress. Prolonged life. Deepened meaning.
On the flip side?
Loneliness was found to be more detrimental to long-term health than smoking or alcoholism.
Let that sink in.
This secular study stumbled upon a sacred truth:
We were made for one another.
A SHOULDER-TO-SHOULDER LIFE
From the first pages of Scripture, God declares it:
“It is not good for man to be alone.” [Genesis 2:18]
And yet, so much of our modern life is designed to drift us into isolation.
We make decisions based on jobs, salaries, safety, schools, or even scenery leaving things like relationships, church community, family, and spiritual mentors out of our decision matrix. We can be completely surrounded yet utterly alone.
We know hundreds of people by name.
But who knows our soul?
Who knows the burdens we carry?
Who checks in on the hard things and shows up for the unseen battles?
We are hyper-connected and under-relationed.
Digital proximity has replaced embodied presence.
Content has replaced community.
We are starving for something real.
And that hunger exists because we weren’t designed for shallow relationships.
We were designed for the kind that leaves a mark.
The kind of friendship that shapes you, sharpens you, and calls you up.
Paul tells the Philippians, “I have no one like him”, speaking of Timothy, “who will be genuinely concerned for your welfare.” [Phil. 2:20]
This kind of deep-hearted concern isn’t instant. It’s forged. Built slowly. Lived into. It takes intentionality, trust, risk, and sacrifice.
But it’s worth it. Because at the end of the day, the people are the prize.
WHAT ARE YOU BUILDING?
You can build a career.
Build a following.
Build a dream house.
Build a portfolio.
But if you never build into others, you’re just building with sand.
Jesus built people.
He poured into twelve.
He wept with them, ate with them, walked with them, and prayed for them.
Paul built people.
Barnabas built Paul.
Timothy was raised by Paul.
The early church spread through discipleship, not because of perfect systems, but because of devoted relationships.
The New Testament is not a story of entrepreneurs and visionaries.
It’s the story of men and women who linked arms and shouldered the mission of God together.
And today, we are still reaping the fruit of those relationships.
What if the greatest ROI of your life wasn't in your bank account or your job title, but in the souls you invested in?
A FINAL CHARGE
Your legacy is not your résumé.
It’s not your follower count.
It’s not your net worth.
It’s not the dream house, the ideal location, or the accolades on your wall.
Your legacy is people.
The ones who sat at your table.
The ones who heard you pray.
The ones you called when they were in the pit.
The ones who said, “You showed up when no one else did.”
The ones you discipled, encouraged, served, forgave, laughed with, wept with, and carried when they couldn’t walk.
So invest accordingly.
Pursue depth over comfort.
Pursue community over convenience.
Pursue people…even when it costs you.
And if you’re in a season where deep community feels absent, don’t wait. Go first.
Open your home.
Ask the second question.
Start the group.
Confess first.
Show up.
Be known.
Because at the end of your days, when all the noise fades and your life is measured…
The people you impacted and invested in will be the truest measure of a life well-lived.
And that’s not just a nice idea.
That’s the kingdom of God.
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