“A person prays that he himself may be constructed, not that God may be instructed.”
— Augustine
“As soon as I heard these words I sat down and wept and mourned for days, and I continued fasting and praying before the God of heaven.”
— Nehemiah 1:4
PRAYER AS FORMATION
Do you ever feel like your prayers are just bouncing off the ceiling?
As if the God of the universe has more important dealings to tend to than the things you bring before his throne? It’s a false view of his power and his presence, but I've found myself in that spot more than a few times.
Wondering if my prayers were just empty words and hopeful petitions.
Often times when I am feeling that way and I take a step back to examine my prayer life I see that most of my prayers are directed towards seeking to move the hand of God in my own life in a way that I’ve deemed to be beneficial. My entire prayer life becomes petitioning God to do things that for the most part would make my life more comfortable, enjoyable or impressive.
We often approach prayer as a transaction. We bring our needs, our struggles, our desires before God and ask Him to intervene. While there is nothing wrong with petitioning God, Jesus Himself taught us to ask for our daily bread, prayer is far more than a tool for divine provision. It is the crucible in which we are formed.
Augustine’s words are striking:
A person prays that he himself may be constructed, not that God may be instructed.
We do not pray to inform God of what He already knows, but to be transformed by the One who made us. Every moment spent in prayer is a moment in which God is chiseling us, refining us, bending our desires to align with His.
Nehemiah’s story begins not with action, but with anguish. When he heard the news that Jerusalem’s walls lay in ruins, he didn’t rush to devise a five-step strategic plan, nor did he assemble a team to immediately begin construction.
Instead, he turned to the Lord in prayer.
For four months, Nehemiah fasted, mourned, and sought God’s face. Before a single stone was lifted, his heart was being built, his vision was being forged, and his soul was being shaped for the mission ahead.
Prayer came before progress, formation before execution.
Only after those months in prayer did Nehemiah rise to rebuild.
THE BURDEN OF PRAYER
When we pray rightly, something begins to shift in us. Our prayers move beyond personal comfort and immediate needs.
They begin to take on the shape of God’s heart. We start to feel a burden for the lost. A burden for those in need. A burden for our cities and communities. We begin to weep over what God weeps over and rejoice in what brings Him joy.
Moses prayed, and he became the intercessor for a rebellious people. (Exodus 32:11-14)
Nehemiah prayed, and he was given a vision for a broken city. (Nehemiah 1:4-11)
Paul prayed, and his heart was set ablaze for the salvation of the nations. (Romans 10:1)
God is in the business of forming us through prayer. His hope is not that we would be passive, or self-consumed, but that we would be those who are burdened with holy fire, those who stand in the gap for others, those who labor in prayer for their families, their churches, and their nations.
PRAYER SHAPES OUR DESIRES
The longer we abide in prayer, the more our desires change.
The things we once chased after lose their grip, and the things of eternity become our true longing. This is why the Psalmist declares, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4)
It is not that God grants every fleeting wish; it is that through prayer, our hearts are molded to desire what is good, true, and eternal.
If we are not being shaped in prayer, we will be shaped by the world. And the world will conform us to its image.
Selfish, distracted, and chasing after things that do not satisfy.
The disciples did not ask Jesus how to preach or how to perform miracles.
They asked Him how to pray.
Why? Because they saw that His life, His power, and His clarity came from deep communion with the Father. If we truly desire to live lives that matter, we must learn to pray as Jesus prayed.
THE COST OF NEGLECTING PRAYER
A prayerless man is a powerless man. A man who does not pray is like a warrior without a weapon, a builder without a foundation. Without prayer, we drift. We grow cold. We become a people of impulse rather than conviction.
Throughout history, God’s people have understood this.
Daniel prayed three times a day despite the threat of death. (Daniel 6:10)
David prayed in the wilderness, on the throne, and in his failures. (Psalm 51)
Jesus withdrew to desolate places to pray, even in the midst of great ministry success. (Luke 5:16)
What does it say about us if we neglect the very thing that sustained the mightiest men of faith?
LIVING A LIFE OF PRAYER
Prayer is not an item on a spiritual checklist; it is the lifeblood of the Christ follower.
If we neglect it, we starve our souls. If we embrace it, we are built into people of depth, conviction, and power.
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Pray consistently – Set apart time each day, not out of obligation, but out of a desire to be shaped by God. -
Pray beyond yourself – Ask God to expand your heart for others, to give you burdens beyond your own needs. -
Pray with expectation – Believe that God is not only listening but actively forming you through the process. -
Pray through scripture – Let God’s word fuel your prayers, shaping them according to His will. -
Pray with perseverance – Even when you feel nothing, even when heaven seems silent, persist in prayer.
A FINAL CHARGE
Nehemiah spent four months in prayer before he spent 52 days rebuilding the wall.
A 52-day project had a four-month foundation of prayer.
What does that tell us? God often does something in us before He does something through us.
We want breakthroughs without burdens. We want success without surrender.
But the story of Nehemiah reminds us that prayer is the unseen work that makes visible transformation possible. The time spent in secret before God determines the strength of what is built in public.
If you desire to have an impact, start by becoming a person of prayer.
Let your heart be shaped before you seek to shape the world.
Let God form you in the quiet before you move in the open.
May we be those who enter the secret place not just to ask, but to be shaped. Not just to seek gifts, but to seek God Himself.
If you feel weak, pray.
If you feel lost, pray.
If you feel weary, pray.
And keep praying, until your heart is no longer your own but has been fully yielded to His.
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