jesus didn't keep the receipts

‘Simon, do you love me more than these?’”

— Jesus

“God does not love some future version of you. He loves you now.”

— Matt Chandler

DRAW NEAR

For years, I wrestled with a quiet but persistent lie—one that I knew, theologically, was false, yet practically, I still lived by it. It was the belief that Jesus loved me more when I was doing things for Him. If I was leading, serving, evangelizing, or producing spiritual fruit, I felt close to Him. If I was struggling, doubting, or failing, I felt distant.

Of course, I knew in my head that salvation was by grace alone. I could quote Ephesians 2:8-9. But deep down, I still felt like my worth in the kingdom was tied to my usefulness. I wasn’t alone in that struggle. We live in a world that assigns value to productivity, to accomplishment, to contribution. We baptize that mindset into our faith, believing that Jesus is more pleased with us when we are useful to Him.

Years ago, I was asked to write down two or three words to describe Jesus’ actions toward people. I sat there, thinking of how He had interacted with the broken, the sinful, the weak. I wrote: “Draw near.”

Over and over again, that is what He does. He draws near to us. Not because we’ve proven ourselves. Not because we’ve cleaned ourselves up. Not because we’ve made it up to Him.

Simply because He loves us.

And perhaps nowhere is that love more beautifully displayed than in John 21, where Jesus meets Peter in his failure—not to condemn him, but to restore him.

JESUS MEETS PETER WHERE HE IS

Imagine Peter in that moment. The weight of his failure still fresh, the memory of his denial replaying in his mind. The rooster’s crow still echoes in his heart. How could he face Jesus after what he had done? How could he ever be trusted again?

And yet, Jesus doesn’t scold. He doesn’t say, Peter, how could you? He doesn’t ask for an explanation or demand an apology. Instead, He invites Peter into a conversation, one that will restore him, not just to forgiveness, but to purpose.

Jesus knows Peter’s heart. He knows Peter wants to love Him fully but is battling the shame of his failure. So, Jesus meets him in that struggle.

The last time Peter had stood around a fire, he was denying Jesus. Three times. With curses. In His most crucial hour, when Jesus needed His disciples the most, Peter swore he didn’t even know Him.

And now, here they were again, around another fire. But Jesus wasn’t there to shame Peter. He wasn’t keeping score. He wasn’t holding the receipts.

“Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?”

Three times, Jesus asks. Three times, Peter responds. But in the Greek, something fascinating is happening. Jesus asks, “Do you love (agape) me?” Agape is the highest, deepest, most unconditional form of love. Peter responds, “Lord, I love (phileo) you.” Phileo is love, but a lesser love—a brotherly affection.

Jesus asks again, “Do you agape me?” Peter, still hesitant, still raw from his failure, replies, “Lord, I phileo you.”

And then, in the third and final question, Jesus meets Peter where he is. “Peter, do you phileo me?”

Peter wasn’t ready to claim agape-level devotion, and Jesus knew it. He didn’t demand something Peter wasn’t ready to give. He met him in his weakness, in his uncertainty, in his failure. And yet, Jesus didn’t leave him there.

He called him forward. He entrusted him with a mission. He lifted his vision.

“Feed my sheep.”

Peter wasn’t disqualified. He wasn’t sidelined. Jesus didn’t restore him just to forgive him; He restored him to send him. And He prophesied that Peter would one day reach agape love—that he would one day lay down his life for Christ.

Failure didn’t define Peter. Grace did.

JESUS MEETS YOU IN YOUR MESS

There’s a profound truth in the way Jesus approaches Peter—one that extends to you and me. He doesn’t wait for us to get our act together before He meets us. He doesn’t demand perfection before He draws near. He meets us in the middle of the mess.

When we feel disqualified, He calls us.

When we feel too broken, He restores us.

When we feel like we’ve lost our way, He comes to find us.

We tend to find ourselves caught in a cycle of believing we need to be ‘better’ before we can draw near to Jesus. That we need to clean up our sin, prove our devotion, or be more disciplined before He’ll fully embrace us. But that’s not how the kingdom of God works. Jesus moved first. He comes to us whispering the same words He spoke to Peter: Follow me.

And here’s the beauty—just like with Peter, Jesus doesn’t just restore us to Himself, He entrusts us with His mission. He invites us to be part of what He is doing in the world. Not because we’re perfect, but because His grace is greater than our weakness.

We often believe, deep down, that Jesus is waiting for a future version of us—the more faithful, more disciplined, more selfless version. But that is not the Jesus of Scripture.

He met the woman at the well in her shame and called her to worship in spirit and truth.

He met the tax collectors and sinners at their tables and invited them into His kingdom.

He met the paralytic on his mat and forgave his sins before healing his body.

He met Thomas in his doubt and offered him His scars.

He meets you here. Now. Not once you clean yourself up. Not once you’ve proven your devotion. Right now, in this very moment, He draws near to you.

But He also calls you forward. He doesn’t love you because of what you can do for Him, but He does have a mission for your life. Just as Peter was entrusted with the care of Christ’s flock, you have been entrusted with a calling. Not because you are strong, but because He is. Not because you are worthy, but because He makes you so.

A FINAL CHARGE

If you are wrestling with failure, with doubt, with feeling like you’ve let Jesus down—know this: He is not waiting for some future version of you. He loves you now. He is drawing near to you now.

But He is also calling you forward.

Stop sitting in shame.

Stop believing the lie that you must earn your way back.

The cross already secured your place.

Jesus meets you where you are, but He does not leave you there.

He restores, He commissions, and He sends.

So rise up. Shake off the weight of your past. Step into the love that holds you and the mission that calls you.

You are not forgotten. You are not beyond redemption. You are not too far gone.

The same Jesus who met Peter at that fire is meeting you now.

So take heart. Walk in His love. Feed His sheep.

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