“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.”
— Jesus
“We do not want a father in heaven. We want a grandfather in heaven—a senile benevolence who, as they say, ‘likes to see young people enjoying themselves’ and whose plan for the universe was simply that it might be truly said at the end of each day, ‘a good time was had by all.’”
— C.S. Lewis
A FAITH BUILT ON PREFERENCE
I remember a time when I made decisions purely based on what felt right to me. If a church didn’t meet my expectations, I was tempted to move on. If scripture confronted something uncomfortable in my life, I subtly avoided it. I had unknowingly crafted a version of faith that served me rather than shaped me. It was subtle, never outright rejection of God’s authority, but a quiet, persistent reordering of priorities to ensure my comfort remained intact.
It wasn’t until a season of hardship disrupted my well-ordered preferences that I realized how shallow my faith truly was.
When suffering came, my preference for ease didn’t help me.
When obedience required risk, my preference for control left me paralyzed.
God was revealing a hard but necessary truth: He was not a God of my preferences. He was a God of His will.
If you strip down most of our lives, you’ll find that we are ruled by preference.
We curate everything to our liking—our schedules, our meals, our entertainment, even our relationships. We filter out discomfort and gravitate toward convenience. We attend churches that fit our personality, follow leaders that reinforce what we already believe, and surround ourselves with people who affirm our opinions.
Without realizing it, we start shaping our faith around ourselves.
But God is not a God of our preferences. And to assume He is, or to subtly reorient our faith to make Him more accommodating, creates massive deficiencies in our walk with Him.
THE DANGER OF A MADE-TO-ORDER GOD
A faith built on preference is a faith that will crumble when challenged.
If we prefer comfort, we will avoid suffering at all costs—even when it’s the tool God is using to refine us.
If we prefer affirmation, we will reject hard truths and seek voices that only encourage, never correct.
If we prefer control, we will manipulate faith to fit our agenda instead of surrendering to God’s plan.
If we prefer familiarity, we will resist the stretching work of the Holy Spirit and settle into stagnation.
And what happens when God calls us to something we don’t prefer?
When obedience demands sacrifice?
When discipleship disrupts our routine?
When faithfulness costs us our reputation, comfort, or sense of control?
A preference-based faith won’t sustain us in those moments. It will buckle under the weight of real surrender.
GOD IS A GOD OF HIS WILL
The call of Jesus is not “follow me when it’s comfortable.” It is “take up your cross daily.” (Luke 9:23)
To walk with Him is to lay down our preferences and pick up His will.
“Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.” (Proverbs 19:21)
God’s will is not something we mold to fit our lives—it is something we conform our lives to. And His will is not always what we would prefer.
Moses preferred to stay in obscurity—but God called him back to Egypt.
Jonah preferred Nineveh’s destruction—but God called him to preach repentance.
Jesus, in His humanity, prayed for another way—but He surrendered, saying “Not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42)
God does not shape Himself to fit our comfort. He shapes us to fit His calling.
LIVING BEYOND PREFERENCE
So what does this look like in daily life?
1. Seek God's will before your own.
Before making decisions—whether about church, work, relationships, or ministry—ask: Is this about my preference, or God’s purpose?
2. Stay in places that challenge you.
Don’t run from difficult people or hard seasons just because they’re uncomfortable. Growth happens when we stay planted where God has placed us.
3. Let scripture form you, not just affirm you.
Read the Bible not to confirm what you already believe, but to be shaped by what God reveals—especially the parts that convict you.
4. Obey even when it's costly.
If God calls you to do something inconvenient, lean in. The greatest movements of God often begin with small, unseen acts of obedience.
A FINAL CHARGE
You and I were not made to live small, preference-driven lives.
We were made to walk in bold obedience, to surrender to something far greater than ourselves. A faith built on preference is no faith at all—it is self-worship disguised as devotion.
As Tim Keller wrote: “If your god never disagrees with you, you might just be worshiping an idealized version of self.”
But a faith built on surrender? That is the kind of faith that turns the world upside down.
God is not asking you to be comfortable. He is asking you to be faithful.
So lean in. Let go of the need to control. Step into what He is calling you to, even when it is costly.
Your preferences may crumble, but His purpose will stand. And that is a foundation worth building your life upon.
May we be a people who stop shaping God to fit our preferences and instead allow Him to shape us into His image.
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